Part 2 - History (+ accountability)

'History and Monsters' looks at why an N revises history when they are intent on destroying others to protect their own image. This is about accountability as the driver behind revisionist history. 

Our actions (not our reactions) define us, as does our intent, in all things. The two combine to form the part of our history that is self defined. We own our actions. We own our intent. They define and reflect on nobody but us. This is accountability. Being accountable for our behaviour is one of the hallmarks of being an adult.

Normal Person:

"I did a really-fucked-up-stupid thing. I am sorry. Please forgive. I will never do it again".

N:

"I did what I wanted to do but it appears it does not make me look all that great so I had better hide it".

N's are not adults. They are boundary pushing three year olds hiding chocolate wrappers under cushions and then blaming the dog.

What happens when you call an N out on their version of events?

“You’ve always had a terrible memory” and a quick hand ball to a distraction so you feel like you are the crazy one.

“I didn’t say that” and another quick hand ball to a distraction.

“You ungrateful wretch, how dare you judge me” and maybe a quick hand ball to a further attack on you (which is a distraction by any other name).

“Get over it, nobody’s interested” followed by a distraction.

“Forget it; it’s too long ago to even think about” followed by, you guessed it, another distraction.

Rule One: nobody is allowed to reference the past except the N, unless the reference is her revisionist version, or the reference puts her in a glowing light.

Rule Two: when dealing with an N’s revisionist history, time is stationary. 10 minutes ago is the same as 10 years ago.

Why do N’s have such a need to hide history, to revise it and make time stationary at the same time? It’s not just so they can hide their true character. It is, in fact, a little more insidious. 

When they rewrite history we are placed in a position of not being able to judge them by their past deeds: the habitual and the cumulative. We are left with only THIS moment in time and this ONE thing and, as reasonable people, we intuitively feel it is not fair to judge someone on one thing. And we do this because it is not usually fair to judge a single incident, without reference, because one bad deed does not make a bad person.

Stripped of our ability to reference history we are left in a position whereby we never feel we have the right to judge them at all. It is an endless loop.

1. N does bad thing. 

2. N feigns apology/demands to be forgiven for bad thing. 

3. N does another bad thing and you, being not allowed to reference previous bad act, can only ‘judge’ them on this single (probably non-prosecutable) bad thing. 
1. N does bad thing...

N’s hate history. They hate facts. They hate proof. They revile and then revise history because their behaviour is writ large in their history and it condemns them. 

Remember the quote: Character is revealed by…habitual words and acts.